Sunday, May 30, 2010

Life

How you know what is good for you?
Who actually is your true friend?
Who actually you can rely on when you need advice?

What path/ decision to make when you are in dilemma/confuse?
What life you think is the best to head to
What is your life going to be in 10 - 20 years time?
How/ who is your life partner going to be?
How to forsee what is going to come?
How to spend time efficiently on work and personal life
How not to hurt people you love while you just want everyone to happy including yourself?
How your life going to be when you are retired?
Who will be the person going to be there when you are old, defendless and weak?
Who is your soulmate?

These questions in my head everyday eventhough I'm busy working, at home or sitting infront of the TV. My mind keep popping these questions in my head repeatly. It does feel very tired. I wish to turn back the clock and have my best friend at my side but we cannot turn back the time. We just need to move on even though it is very lonely path I'm walking right now. Nevertheless, I do hope my best friend is happy and having a wonderful life out there. Missing him as he has good heart but not missing the fights moment with him for years.  I cannot be selfish right now as I have make the decision of not becoming selfish on my relationship eventhough I have hurt everyone along the way, including myself and my dearest friend. He does not know how much I really love him if compared to the others in my life, yet I letting him go as it is too hurt to try further.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Meetings

Compiling information on the advantanges and drawback of the existing product. Being ask what to improve, yet ask not to rush things. I feel like the contributions of feedback from the team will provided to other "TEAM" on how to improve their own product, based on how my boss says.

I feel a bit dissapointed as I feel bias as boss going to show it to other seniors to judge what can be done. Is my time will be paid off, or wasted as ppl going to steal them to have the light onto themselves.

I'm feel sceptical, and I have the right to feel that way after years and YEARs of lame excuses given infront of my face. feel damn idiot, but I wont want to feel that anymore.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Work my brain off - what to do! what to do!

Here in office, thinking for days...what I can do for the team. Suddenly I realised I have spent my previous years on relationship which won't work in the end.

I should have balance in my career and personal life much better. I do hope there is still time.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Long talk with bestie

Had lunch with TC at Saturday noon (24 April 2010) before she goes back home, but I got unwell on the day before while working. But I'm glad to had lunch with her. Even she didnt mince her words, it those hurt but honestly I need it.
I have waited for so long since I worked for the company, waited for my seniors to protect the staff and make the product growth, but i waited and waited, and nothing happen.
I'm done waiting for others, now I need to move on and make decision on my own as unable to rely others if you want to achieve something.

Facing the risk rather doing nothing.