random talk again

Some people demand to be center of the attention at all times

Some people demand to be left alone

Some people demand to be treated with respect

Some people demand to be love by someone

Some people demand quiet time

Some people demand to release their frustration

Some people demand to express their unhappiness or happiness to others

Some people demand others to see their true personality without bias

Some people demand to others to listen their point of view 

Some people demand to have companion to feel less lonely

Some people demand to have more interesting lifestyle

Some people demand to do whatever they want without other interference

What you perceive others may be not how you truly understand the person at all. 

What you demand is not other demand for themselves

CRAPPY LIFE (Being denial no more)

I am who I am, Do not try always to fix me as if I am broken need constant repair/fix. Do not constantly pointing to me that I need your help and guidance.

I love who I am and I love my life as it is.

Happiness comes from within ourselves. IF you try to make someone miserable like you are doing repeatly onto me. Please stop it as you are way too old doing this. I'm fed up of trying to mend this situation for years and I do not want to waste of my remaining time on convince your wild conclusion perception of me is wrong. After 10 years of arguing and senseless fighting which lead to no way. I have given my time and energy for many years and I'm extremely tired and done with it. My health is not as fit as I am young and I do not wany any crap/shit thrown at me when you feel like it.

You go your way. I go my way. As I do not think this type of frienship ever be any positive as it is only temporary positive but always bring out negative energy to both of us in the end all the time.

I do not want lie to myself anymore that everything will be normal in the end. I also have no energy to convince you that I'm just a plain person doing plain stuff. If you constant throwing accusation of what bitch I am when you demand attention from me and expect me to tell you where I go constantly. I do not need to face this from ANYONE including you.

I am way pass my 20s and do not need to be treated by you like I am 16 yrs old constantly. I do not need all this crap further. THIS IS NOT HOW LIVING SHOULD BE AT ALL.

If you cannot respect my personal life and space without intruding. Please intrude your own partner life and space. I do not need all this shit from you at all.


Please do not lurk at my home to check where I am and tell me what I am doing. Thanks but I am aware what I doing therefore I do not need you to hide yourself to see what I am doing. You constantly gone to far. I dont know what to call this type of friendship. Is this stalker type? I know you think it is no stalking at all.

I write to keep my sanity as I rarely speak out my problems to anyone and I normally will keep everything to myself. This is only place I normally release my frustration and sadness as I do not expect anyone will understand what I feel at all.

I just pray and wish that my life will back to normal and peaceful as possible as minimizing man-made drama as little as possible.

woman right

As a woman ages, she matures and stronger. Not getting immature and weaker as years goes by. Woman should differentiate what is right and wrong for themselves. Defend themselves and stand firm to prevent getting bullied.

Life is not worth living when people tells us what to do and what we can allowed to do only with their consent or approval.

STAND FIRM even people will insist what we doing are WRONG. 

This morning not a good day

This morning my colleague told me our ex-colleague has passed away from cancer last weekend. 2 years ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer but end of last year the cancer has spread to her brain. Last year I called her and she sounded positive and determined to overcome it even she just came out from the brain surgery. She practically sounded like she is the one consoling me but she is the patient.

It is my privilege to know her as she was one person who is caring, attentive, smartass in whatever she does. She is so young and just started her marriage. She really battled with the cancer really hard and never gave up till her last breath.

Life is so unfair and anytime a life can be taken away. Life is precious and should always live to the fullest without any regret as we never know when is our turn.

just rambling, nothing much

Why some people need to seek attention all the time and needed the spotlight on them 24/7. Will you DIE if you don't have any attention for a day?

Why keep on criticizing people and insisting others are saying wrong things?
You really think you are 100% correct in everything, why can't accept other people view? Seriously, why need to be so serious and so critical whenever others' open their mouth for their opinion? Just a casual conversation, not a conversation matter of death or life.

Why others need to pacify all your needs, and you do not care others' feeling/needs ever?
You need to open your eyes and see you are GROWN UP, not a kid anymore!

Why you keep on adding more salt and vinegar on others' personality as if you are the perfect specimen to others?
Will you tell actual facts rather creating stories that make you look good and the other party as dumb/stupid all the time?

Why you tell lies/fake stories about a person to others?
Why you need to target one just to create a conversation with others or to be closer to specific person?

Why insist you are 100% right all the time and will not admit you are wrong when facts are in right of your face? Even sometime syou have no clue what you really talking about?
Why need to pout and put a black face when others tells you are giving wrong info?

Why you need to be jealous when one been like by others more, rather you?
Do you need to create a fake stories about the person to make others dislike the person and favour you more. Keep giving the person hard time for pleasure/vengeance. That's so MATURE!

Why always give fake sweet and innocent smile all the time?
Will you stop pretending and reveal your true colors?

Why you need to throw cold water when others' excited to talk about their happy event to others?
Why you only allow to talk about your happy events REPEATLY all the time till my ears want to bleed keep hearing about it yet I just keep quiet? Why can't you shut up and be happy for the person rather critic/humiliate one when one is happy telling their event for ONCE?


Seem like my patient is running extreme low today as this is what I have to go through each time I see/talk to the person. It is sad to know such people do exist in real life. Damn shit! 1000XX SHIT!!

KL - hazy

Seem lately the weather in KL is very humid, mild wind only and lack of rain. The sight of KL view is very hazy as the air is not well circulated. Really need rain ☔ to make air healthier. I have a sweet neighbour who loves to cook and occasionally will give us some dessert or herbal tea. I'm happy staying here as my neighbours all caring and nice. Each other take care of each other unit if anything happen. Still remember one time, my neighbour unable to open his gate, everyone came out to help and finding ways to open the lock for 2 hours. It is funny but sense of helping each other is there.

Friends and Business Don't Mix

Thankful that I'm not in the hot soup. My bf fren got into a big trouble recently. His dad was trying to help his friend in setting up a business by making his son a part of the shareholder. However his son do not know what is the nature of the business and how the bussiness goes. But it was all due to good faith when setting up the business.

Recently, he received a letter from banks/court stating the company owing MYR3 million dollars. He was shocked as the court forcing him to pay part of the debt by the company. Even the main person managing make the company into a big debt, but putting your name into the company....you are also liable for anything happen to the company. He has no choice now that he is required to pay the debt. 

Lesson: Do not put your name nor give others' your consent to involve anything you dont know anything or no involvement needed. It is a suicide move.

Frienship

Sometime we will not know who are our real true friends. When you are in bad shape and at the most bottom phase of your life...they are the one will be there supporting you in different kind of ways.

It does not need to be in monetary, but it could just moral support or being there to listen to your problem or giving advice to guide to the right path.

In this world, people are getting more competitive and realistic. It is rare even find a true friend. If you found one, treasure them. It is good to have many, but even you have one friend only, it is already a blessing.

Even sometime some people has not found any true friend still, you just need to strong and eventually find one unexpected time and place.  :)

Pain and pointless

I need to eat painkiller. Too much pain in my body from the frustration. Why no one understand me at all?

BFF is not real for me

If my best friend is attack by people, with knowing him for so many years... I will know his character too well on what he capable of doing. Even what happen, I do believe him without him trying convince me as I know him too well. I will not doubt him even.

If someone say thing ill about me, my best friend will side the other person as I'm the person who he has doubt unless I have proof even the other party don't need any proof or fact about me. Do I have a true friend I can rely and who knows me well to understand the type of person. The answer is NO. I have no true friend I know that I don't need convince my true colours. It is sad but this is my life. I have to face this fact of my life. Do I want to continue who I am really is? I don't want anymore. U can just accept who I am without always convincing my trust or U can leave. I don't care anymore. Too tired of all this drama.

From I see lately, all I can say is 'action speak louder than word'.

promises

We promises to clear the air if we have any doubts anything and clarify what happen if not sure the truth of the story. That was also more than 1 year ago. After some my friends said I was a person love to flirt and hang around with young men.

After fighting for days, mentally drained. Eventually he mentiond the story and never say who said it. But confirm it was truth as it was 2 people mentioned the similar thing. Therefore it was 2 against 1. After days of heated arguments with both of us exhausted. He eventually told me the assholes created the story about me. The fight impact us deeply but I could not believe we wasted our time arguing over a stupid story and my friend prefer to believe the assholes than me. It was a big blow to me about how much of trust he had on me. It was zero of trust.

The level of knowing me also Zero even we know each other for years. It was a BIG dent inside my emotion as we have waste our time argue over a stupid story.

After this event, I thought we promise we will come clean and clear the air as soon as we have any doubt. He was the one who make both of us promise.

But last week, he forgotten the promise and we fought again over stupid trust issue. I am very angry till now. After what we have promise, he return of not trusting me. The hurt is unbearable as I feel so dissapointed. What is the use of the frienship if ur friend always using stuff to attack you over other conversation.

I feel so hurt and dissapointed till now. My fren has a different mindset from me. It is so hard to tell what I really feel from my heart. Letting go a friend is easier than feeling betrayed. I feel betrayed, but he think he is the one being betrayed. Therefore the story is continue as I'm the problem. Let it be as all of thing truly childish and waste of time.

Why argue when I just want to act like mature person. If a person want to argue with me, I will walk away. Enough is enough.

Mood

NOW I VERY PISS AS I REALISE MY STUFF INSIDE MY PC is SCAN/READ by my fren. VERY DISSAPOINTED and ANGRY LIKE SHIT.

I dont think I have such friend invaded my privacy till this extend

friendship define wrongly

I have my personal problem I need to deal with. Honestly, I do not have a true friend who can give me moral support without adding more headache and argument in my life.

I feel without any friends even better....even it is lonely but at least I dont need argument with people over SENSELESS reason.

I need some privacy and self respect given. Not treat like I'm in the jail and under parole. Friendship is define different from each person. But my definition friendship is giving people freedom to choose as they are "adult" and become their advisor, not pusher.

If the friend keep on asking you.. why are you lying now? what are you hiding now? where are you now? what u doing now till u are busy meh?

I do have limit in patient when people pushing me around. When I retaliate, the case like I'm wrong. When I feel like I;m not wrong at all. When Im wrong, I do admit. But I do want RESPECT from my friends. Yet, I feel like I'm still in kindergarten playing childish games.

Dissapointed

Honestly, I dont know what's up with my friend. Just because I didnt talk to him today, he is so piss and start to accuse me here and there. What is this?

When my friend is busy...I give space to him to have his own time to do his stuff. When just bcoz only today I didnt chit chat with him. He is mad. Why cannot be a flexible as I do not ignore him all the time, only when I'm tied with work and other personal things.

Arrrgggghhh...forget it...I do not want to proceed of getting angry after spending so many year over this. I do not want to re-start this again. EVER AGAIN!!! I'm OLD and FED UP happening over again.

I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AND PEACEFUL LIFE.

Trust

How much your friend needed to know about you to trust you fully?

1) Base on basic instinct where talking to the person frequently?
2) Knowing her/his family background
3) Understand her/his normal character on how the person react to scenarios to see she/he is a honest
4) Check all the information about he/her through internet
5) Scan through his/her pc to look into photos and videos (even though it is private)
6) Read all his/her MSN/skype/yahoo messages to other friends to confirm how much his/her friendship to others?
7) Asking around friends about you to know who you really are to have not double confirm, but hunderd of confirmation just in case 1 person said the different thing about her/him.
8) Read up personal diary
9) Look at personal bank statements
10) Others stuff which inside her/his pc.

If you are face this situation, will be ok for you?
How come it is only 1 side being treat such way, is ok? Is the person being push and bullied when the other think it is alright. Is this healthy relationship? What is I get married and have sex....do I need to video and take photos with bf/gf  to ensure who make I really having sex with only 1 person, or else perceive he/she having sex with everyone. What is the limit of respecting one's private life without stepping too much.
What is the level of personal life is invaded. It is not about keeping secret or hiding any information to a person. But it is based how much you really need to know. If the person did not do any wrong, but doing normal routine life....but friend dont know...is it call as a secret?

Today, I am extremely tired. Yet people insist I'm hiding something.  How many more years I need to face till this scenario stop. When I'm at 60?

I rather let go such people even we were good friends for years as I really want to be free from all these drama and live happily.