15
Things You Don’t Owe Anyone At All (Though You Think You Do) by David K.
William
Many choices we make in life—ranging from what we do, to how
we conduct ourselves, and who we interact with—are subject to prying questions
and commentary from those around us. Family members, friends, and even total
strangers, it often seems like everyone has an opinion on the things we do, no
matter how small or insignificant those things might seem to us.
Sometimes people go so far as to ask you to explain yourself
for the decisions or choices you make in your own life. You might feel obliged
to respond, but some things are really no one else’s business and you don’t owe
anyone an explanation at all for the following 15 things—though you think you
do.
1. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation for your living situation.
Whether you are cohabiting with your ex-boyfriend or
ex-girlfriend, crashing in different motel rooms across the country, or living
with your parents for a while when you are past your twenties, you don’t have
to explain yourself to anyone for who you live with and why if you don’t want
to. If you are fully aware of your living situation, then it means you have
your own reasons for being in that situation that are nobody else’s business.
2. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation for your life priorities.
You have your own ideas about the things that would make you
and your loved ones truly comfortable and happy, which is your main priority.
Since we are all unique individuals with different values, dreams and aspirations,
your core priorities will be different from the next person’s. You don’t owe
anyone an explanation for what you determine is your core priority in life.
That is your personal business not other people’s business.
3. You don’t owe anyone an
apology if you are not sorry.
If you don’t regret your actions, still think someone is
wrong about something or don’t care much for their forgiveness, you don’t have
to apologize. Many people are too quick to offer apologies and try to mend
wounds that are not yet ready to be mended, which only serves to aggravate the
wound and bring more problems. You really don’t have to apologize if you are
not sorry or your side of the story hasn’t been heard.
4. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation for requiring alone time.
You might worry that you will come across as “rude,”
“anti-social” or “aloof” when you cancel plans or other obligations because you
need some time alone to reboot, unwind or just enjoy a good book by yourself.
However, spending time alone is a completely normal, natural and necessary
practice that more people should adopt. Take your alone time confidently
because you don’t owe anybody an explanation for it.
5. You don’t owe anyone your
agreement on their personal beliefs.
Just because someone shares their personal beliefs
passionately doesn’t mean you have to sit there and nod in approval to
everything they say. If you don’t share in their beliefs, it is unfair to
yourself and to the other person to suppress your own thoughts and feelings and
pretend you agree with them. It’s okay and better to disagree with them
gracefully instead of bottling up your disapproval and frustrations.
6. You don’t owe anyone a
yes to everything they say.
You have a right to say no whenever there is no compelling
reason to say yes. In fact, the most successful people in the world are those
who have mastered the art of saying no to everything that is not a priority.
Acknowledge other people’s kindness and be grateful for it, but don’t be afraid
to politely decline anything that takes your focus away from your core goals
and priorities. That’s how to get ahead.
7. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation for your physical appearance.
You might be slender, plump, tall, short, pretty, plain or
whatever, but you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for why you look how
you do. Your physical appearance is your own business and you are obligated
only to yourself. Physical appearance shouldn’t determine your self-worth.
8. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation for your food preferences.
There are certain foods that you just don’t like at all for
different reasons, including taste preference and health issues. You don’t have
to explain to anyone at all why you prefer certain foods. Your food preference
is a matter that is best left to you. If anyone pesters you about why you are
eating (or not eating) certain foods, shrug it off and just say you feel better
eating (or not eating) those foods.
9. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation for your sex life.
As long as it happens with another consenting adult, you
don’t owe anyone an explanation for where, when and how you conduct your sex
life. You can wait for marriage, try one-night stands or experiment with same
sex encounters to your heart’s pleasure and still not have to explain your
sexual preferences to anybody.
10. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation for your career or personal life choices.
Sometimes circumstances force us to choose between work and
“having a life.” The decision is not always easy and you might end up choosing
work, not because you don’t care about your family or social life, but because
you are working on something that will give you security in the future. Either
way, you don’t owe others an explanation for choosing a career over your personal
life (or vice versa) as long as you are confident about what you are doing and
why you are doing it.
11. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation for your religious or political views.
Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant
or Muslim, that is your own personal choice. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation for why you are what you are and believe what you believe. If
someone can’t accept you for who you are, that is their personal dogma—not
yours.
12. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation for being single.
Whether you are single by design or by default that is
nobody’s business. Being single is not a personality disorder. You are free to
be in a relationship or not. Besides, you are far more than your relationship
status and singlehood is just one of those social labels no one should really
care about.
13. You don’t owe anyone a
date just because they asked.
Someone might be nice, good looking and you may even be a
little interested, but you don’t owe them a date just because they ask. If you
feel deep down you don’t want to go on that date, then don’t. You may offer a
reason for declining, but keep it brief and stick to your decision.
14. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation for your decision about marriage.
Whether or not you choose to get married and have kids or
stay unmarried and be childfree, that is your own personal decision. Even your
mom who is dying for grandchildren should understand that marriage is a
personal decision and not suited for everyone. She should respect your decision
about it no matter how hard it is to swallow.
15. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation for your relationship choices.
Sometimes people make inappropriate commentary about your
romantic relationship(s), which is really none of their business. You might
overhear comments like you are not the “perfect couple” or you should find
someone else. However, you are not answerable to anyone but yourself for your
relationship choices. Live your life and never, ever leave or stay in a
relationship just because someone else says you have to. Make your own mistakes
if you must, but learn from them always.
Link: 15-things-you-dont-owe-anyone-all-though-you-think-you-do
