Promises and adults

Some people do the actions, rather than just speaking and giving assurance to this and that. This such people are rare to keep as a friend.

Some people rather keep their mouth shut, rather do it on their own time. Their friends might not know what is the actual action they are doing until the final product is reveal in their eyes.

Some people do give promises and give assurance. But from the outcome, they do not do what they say but just telling this and that...but then it is not their fault.

Each time, I get fed up and exhausted whenver people get piss off on things they hide behind my back and assuming I got an telepathic mind to see through what they angry about. Well, at least the kids get angry, they do tell and resolve. But for adult, they dwell over it repeatly and keep in their heart and start to curse people.

Can I have a normal and mature relationship and communicate with my close friends. Now, I dont really understand why the anger and where moody comes from. What is cause of the problem happen this?

Fooling is fool's game, not a man's game

Abraham Licoln's quote: You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all the the people all the time.

Sick Season

I'm with sore throat, fever and flu since last tuesday. Got better but till now I cannot smell a thing as flu do not want to go away. It is not enjoyable to eat with no sense of smell. But at least I feel better after a long tiresome weeks prior. I knew I was going to get sick as my body and mind just went numb and I keep on pushing to the limit.

Ha! Now half of my female colleagues having flu and sneezing. I hope it is not me who infected them.

Driving with tired mind

Today is Monday as I have put make several emergency brakes as the cars ahead of me keep on brake abruptly. Some of the cars even came out from the left side out of nowwhere. I nearly hit on several cars this morning.  Probably my brain is a bit tired to be concentrate on the road.

Not only being drunk might cause accident, but tired mind also can cause of accident.

1 utama kid playground @ 3 floor

Today, I spent time with my nephew and niece and went to 1 utama for lunch and the kids wanted to go to kids' playground. After our lunch, we headed to the centre location of new wing where there is a kids playground at 3rd floor (Highstreet) area. There are 3 floors in the playground

Seem like the place not attended with sufficient staff, and the staff are non local who are rude to the kids. I do not expect to pay for MYR 20 per kid entry. The treatment is so badly and all the kids are left unattended and get scolded.

The bigger size kids are running around, while the small kids like the toddlers are in danger to be trampled by the bigger kids.

My niece was accidentally been push down and she bitten her tongue so badly till blood oozzing out from her mouth. The inner cut was bad, and the lower cut on her tongue was so deep, even a packet of tissue not sufficient to stop the blood. She wailing in pain while my sis attend to her. No staff bothered to look what happen and offer any help. They just turn blind eye like as if none of their business. Is this how the kid playground should be?

I'm quite dissapointed that the playground being managed by such manner. When I see the cuts in her tongue, I never such cuts can be done. I feel pain for her as the cuts are too deep and need at least 2-3 weeks to heal.

Frankly, if you have no heart to care of the kids under your care (business), then please do other business not related to kids. A lot of guidance and helpers are needed to ensure kids do not hurt themselves while playing on their playground.

This is the last time I ever bring any kids to there, I rather take them to a park (free of charge) and have a jolly good time without any rudeness.

taste of old songs

He is busy downloading all the old malay songs of 90s. It is unbelievable as I never like old songs. I brought up from a family who my parents like 60s and 70s songs and my eldest sis love country songs. And yet I don't like old song still.

Different people has different taste in everything. But when I hear old songs, I get annoyed or get angry over silly stuff when I hear them

A Boy

Few weeks ago on Sunday, I took a nap after I finish up the house cleaning. Suddenly I woken up by a boy shouting frantically at the playground at my apartment. He keep on shouting for 15 mins non-stop for asking a guy to come. The whole reason he is shouting is: KOR!! COME OUT AS THERE IS A BEAUTIFUL GIRL HERE! PLEASE HURRY!!

The little boy shout non stop quite a long long time and ALL BLOCKS of the apartments can hear the boy so clear.
I am so gutted as I am so surprise some people in his family train him to such manner. You can admire the beauty of a woman but definitely not this manner.

Train your younger one to respect each other regardless female or male but NOT train them to act such pervert.
I will not surprise his older brother train him to track down beautiful gals.

work 2010-Nov

How to work effectively during stress time and with huge pile of workload?

So stress till I work slower than ever. Need to focus on the priority list ( all are priority ). This is so shit!
No choice but pop some pill to calm my nerves so that I cannot feel so stress while work today.

I'm such a bad example to others. Kids!!! Do not do what I doing to myself.

Kitchen

I designed my kitchen based on my simple minded which will look clean and spacious. I took up a contractor who promise me that it will only take 2 weeks to complete everything. In the end it took him 2 MONTHS, after pressuring him to complete it. Even he mention that I'm rude to him when I expecting in 2 weeks. This incident took place at 2008.

Now, I found lines and fine cracks on kitchen tiles. I'm so piss off as I paid for standard handiwork that fill the tiles with full cement. Not a small slab of cement to stick the tiles to the wall.
Seeing the lines, I just want to scream. My sis ask to renovate the whole kitchen is the best choice.
Hello?? Do I print money? Seriously, the contractor is a liar and try to renovate using mininum resources to save his cost. Speechless!!

Always find a contractor who promise you just to make you happy. But find a contractor who is good in his handiwork and passion on his job. Not just looking for quick buck.

A Leader

"A great leader's courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position." - John Maxwell

BITCH

Today after lunch, I went to the Empire, at Subang. They had the new cool long spiral slide for everyone to play but with the fee of MYR12. I paid for my fren to play, he scare still so stiff when he reach at the bottom. :D

And before that, I passed by a cute stall selling car tagger with wordings. I just love the meaning of BITCH stands for:
B = Babe
I = In
T = Total
C = Control of
H = Herself

IF anyone suddenly call me a bitch, I definitely reply back at the person... YES, I AM!!

Contentment

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”  - Lao Tzu

Courage

Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.” - W. Clement Stone quotes

True Friendship hard to find

True Friendship is not easy to find and hard to retain.

When I found the person can be a true friend of mine, I speak out the truth of my opinions and provide my logical advices. The chances is high that it will cost me the friendship when I speak out what I say to them. Not many people able to accept what I say as the truth and advices is hard to expect by anyone when they do not wish to accept and insist of not hearing the real situation. Persisting I'm wrong all the way and they are right all the way. In this situation, I will just let the person do whatever they want as it is their life as I respect them eventhough the friendship might ended.

I keep myself grounded to ensure whenever anyone speak their opinion, I have an open mind to aceept their comment but it does not mean I accept all the advices given as I do evaluate what is right decision to be decided for myself in the end. For example: My boss been brutally honest to me on what I need to improve on. I have no hard feeling but truly honor to understand what is the truth in what she is talking about. As I do sit down and look at my weak points and how to improve if it is logic and make sense.

I cannot change others mind, but only can advice my friends. As I only change myself to be better person and do hope my true friends really understand my intentions.


Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart" - Eleanor Roosevelt quotes

Quote of the day - from John C. Maxwell

Whenever I feel down or confuse on any issue, I like to read quotes. It make me think and keep some of my sanity.

"A Man must be big enough to admit his mistake, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them" - John C. Maxwell.

A Person is a true friend of mine and I never doubt his frienship before. Just many times he ticks me off so much with his hormon rages in his body as I did not know what is all about sometime. Finding fault with me, only make drift us apart.

A true friend will tell you what is important to her/him. But why the other person keep on dwell on issue the least important to her/him and pin-point those petty issue which the person not even bother on it.

Seriously, it is important to understand what is important and not important.

We all getting old, fighting is not the best solution and finding faults must end.

Let your friend to lead her/his life as the way she/he really wants, if you are take the friendship importantly.Not by disrespecting the person with assumptions without any fact or evidences.

Fed Up

Seriously, if someone want to create an issue towards you. Anything can be created from small issue into the mega-big issue of it. Well, Im sick of it. Do whatever you want.

As a friend, you tell me that you trust me but just do not understand me at all. Hello!! We known each other for 6 years already. Been eating lunch and dinner together from the earlier years but after each of us have our own path and commitment, we did not much time together. Yet, I expect the person to understand me deep down without me always telling him every detail of my life. We both heading to our life with our own partners and worklife which hard to meet up as frequent as previously. So many hinderance, yet life is always changes avoidable but deep down in our heart...we need faith, not keep on doubting people you known for so long by keep on saying "I dont understand and trust you" whenever you feel like.

Now, after many years of friendship. He still do not know me well till he need to hire a "private investigator" to find out whether I'm true person to be worth to be his friend or not. Seriously, you are kidding me?

IF anyone reading this, please tell me what is friendship really means???

tiresome with meeting

MEETING! MEETING! MEETING! I have meeting non-stop for 3 weeks now till I'm so phobia on it. There are many more to come each day!!! AAAARRRGGGGHHH!!! I hate it so much, yet I have attend the meetings!!

FUCK!! FUCK!! FUCK!! It really draining my energy faster than I do my work. Now my work is compiling up like a mountain till I dont know where to start. When I start to list down all the work need to do, I feel breathless.  AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Just want to vent out my inner stress and hoping I can take a break soon.

A piece of my past moments

Today I thought of a man passes my path many years ago and kept me wondering what he is up to now.

At the time when I was still in college, I will take bus to go back to my hometown. Once, a late 30s or 40s guy came up to me begging for money. He pleaded me to give him money, but I normally dont give any money to beggars or anyone when they asked.

I'm not sure whether he told the truth story or just wanting to trick me. He told me previous day, he just came out from the prison. He didnt eat anything since he came out from the prison but he seeking donation from others to donate some money to him so that he can buy a bus ticket to his hometown to see his mother who already passed away when he was doing his time. He mentioned, he needed to go back to give his last respect to his mother. I was not sure I able to believe his story is true or not, but I just gave him remaining money hoping that he is say the truth.

Anyhow, we cannot forsee whether they person is lying or telling the truth certain time. Just do what you think is right and live happily. Let the others to carry the burden if he/she is lying. I just wondering he is doing cleaner path now?

my dad

I rarely call back my family especially my parents. I feel guilty as I have negligent on their need since I move from my hometown. I feel sad when I was heading to the city in a bus for further studies as I know my life won't be in the place I was raised up. The time started to play forward in such speed without any brakes anymore.

You start to enjoy your freedom and think about stuff related about you. But parents always worried whether their child is safe and well fed or not.


My dad had his stroke when I was finshed my diploma exams. He just collapsed and feel weak when he was trying to carrying my luggage from the car. He love all his children dearly but he do not know how to show it openly. He normally try show it on his own method. Not many people able to see what he show his love, even I overlook his action. Losing his mom at very young age when he is six yrs old. It is not easy as love is not given to him, and his main concern alway what can be filled in his stomach with no food given by his father each day. And try to feed his bros whatever he can find in his path.

Today, I just miss him, he not always a good father but sufficient as he is just a human being just like everyone.

How to Detect a Liar

How to Detect a Lie (from MSN.com), but it is good useful especially you have face those people in your live daily.


Normally it is lying right infront of you! Most important you really need as basic are:
Good ear
Good eyes
Healthy skepticism


Step 1: You must look at the person react by looking at their body language. They probably touch their face, nose, hair when they lie – EXCESSIVE FACE TOUCHING

Step 2: Follow their eyes
Normally they blink a lot or do not maintain eye contact – ERRATIC EYE BEHAVIOUR

Step 3: Tend to use “I DID NOT”, instead of I did it
They tend to use other’s full name, rather use simply as he/she – UNNATURAL SPEECH

Step 4: Check their smile
Who tell the truth always use a lot facial muscles, but liars just use their smile. – CREEPY HALF SMILING

Step 5: Notice of their posture
Liars tend to keep their posture close, by folding their arms. Or unconsciously place an object between them. – DEFENSIVE POSITIONING

Step 6: Pause Momentarily
If silent make them uncomfortable, they likely lying. – PAUSE-INDUCE DISCOMFORT

Step 7: Pay attention to details
If they provide more information than necessary, it is a bad sign. People who overly-specific if they are making something up. – HYPER-SPECIFIC FABRICATING

Step 8: If you change the subject, they seem relieve. They probably lying straight to your face. – DROPPED TOPIC ELATION.

Step 9: File Up for your future use. If you notice a trend, might it is time for you to teach the liar a lesson

Fact: 91% of Americans report lying on regular basis.

Reminder from Gorrila to me

Please ALWAYS remember How People treat You Good, before you go beserk!!!

The person think he/she is a lion thou. :P

E71 has been revived

After more than 2 weeks now, my HP has been repaired. I feel so relief as I'm not interested in buying any new HP for now as I still love my almost 2 yrs old HP still. It cost me MYR140 but the guy in SS14 who did for me was awesomely helpful. His after-service from his shop is superb unlike those others' shops might cheat you.

Blur till got stuck! :D

Today I'm off from work, I thought of going to market to cook dinner tonight. But alas!!! I was so silly that I forgot to bring my house key along, only my car key.

When I shut my wooden door and tried to open my grill door. I really found myself stuck in between. Got to wait for less than an hour to be saved. At least it is better than last year where I was stuck inside the bathroom after my shower. I almost stuck inside for the whole day, thank goodness I was done before A off to work. If not, I got to wait for A for more than 10 hours.

Random-ness

Just something I wrote on a piece of paper many many years ago, which I think before 2004 when I was a bit upset with my work life and people play politics out of fun.

It is just a reminder to myself how to react when certain situation is out of hand and some scenarios unavoidable.

* Just be a piece of word (No facial expression, as do not show to others for them to read)
* Be tranquil and peace in mind a must
* Be content and happy
* Take one day at a time
* Think positively and happiness always
* Look at thing more rational (which I always fail :P)

Why does some people can sleep instantly as soon as they hit the bed. Like a auto system in their body. I'm wondering why -m always having a hard time sleeping. It is a big frustration each time I face while I need to snooze.

In younger day, when I babysit my cousins, they can doze off within 30 seconds as soon as they close their eyes. For me, it might take more than 1 hour. So so unfair!!!

Life is not complicated if you want to

Life should be simple as it is. People usually make your life so mess up till you do not know what is right and wrong in the end.

Do not complicate your life by making others' happy before you. As long as you are happy, cut other people crap out. This will clear your head better and focus on the priorities in your life.

Life - No space

Life is a joke sometime. People said it is your life and it is your decision to make any change into your life. Yet, when you are trying to focus on what need to do for your life.....people start complaining and pointing you being unfair to them. Keep on telling you, be fair to them. Yet, things got screw up, everyone never point any fingers to themselves except giving excuses on what they think it is right and wrong on the situation.

Oh my gosh!! give me a break! Listen to yourselves what you talking about. Respecting others' privacy is important if you want a friendship Please do not try to teach a person what is right and wrong in their life but always thinking what you do is right all the time is a illusion in your head. No one is perfect. So is you, so am I.

Mutual respect on each other's life is very important. Harm will keep on coming if everyone continously trying to interfere one's personal space too much.

Flu and sickly

Making "xiu long bao" with tissue, purely manufactured from my nose for 2 days straight. AAaaaaaRRRRGGGGHHH!

My living room is scattered with tissue everywhere as my nose is malfunction, I wonder it will go back to normal again? Also cannot stop sneezing :(

How come this month, my body gone wild, like went out partying with viruses.

Sore Throat

Had sore throat pain just before lunch time. I think I drank too much of Milo till my body too heaty. My left eye look so retarded as I'm using an eye cream, it is good but it is sensitive to my left eyelid.

Even I finish today's workload, but there is a bundle of workload still pending.

Nokia E71 (my HP)

My beloved HP died on me on 18 Sept 2010, as I tempt to charge my battery for 2 hours but the battery got so hot and swell up. Tried many times on on my hp but it won't budge. I REALLY LOVE MY E71!!!!! I don't want to buy another HP as I find all the new HP in market look SUCK big time. What happen to the good design and functionable HP.

Finger cross as I hope in 10 days, the repairman able to revive my beloved HP.

Family Day

I had a wonderful time during a long break of 4 days, but my boss emailing me to work issue and required to provide due dates in various tasks while I'm cooking for lunch and playing with my nephew and niece. It is quite stress as try to make everyone happy. On Friday 17/09/2010, I was worried that the due dates unable to meet, I have no choice but drop by the office to ensure the due dates are meet by this coming monday. It is quite crazy scenario and need to rush back to spend time with my families.

My nephew played games using my hp till my hp was so hot till I thought it is going to explode. Eventually, now my hp is not functioning even I tried to charge it and restart my HP many times. Sigh!! I hope my extended warranty still can be used.

Now, I'm so exhausted till I having a headache and mentally drain out. Pop some pills, to numb the pains all over my body.

Trust no one

During a fight with someone, the person spilt the bean out about my sis has told all my secret which I told her specifically, NOT tell anyone as it is private. But she went and expose everything, I feel very upset as I cannot believe that my own sister will tell everything to someone who is not my family member.

I wonder whether she is really that stupid? She is the smart ass in educational wise, if compared to our 5 siblings. Yet, she has such low EQ. Now I know, it is not wise to say so many personal info even to my own family members as no one can be trusted, except yourselves.

It is hard to find someone who you really can trust. I have been betrayed so many times by close frens where they be friends with me, treating me like a best friend. Eventually, I have to find out that they really have intention to harm you in order to benefit them...in career wise or personally. Seem like we are living a jungle but just we just wearing clothes, not naked like the natives. :P

FLU! FLU!

I have been sneezing and sniffing this whole morning. This morning only, I manage to squeeze 2 meetings.
But I start to forget stuff I have done these past 2 months. I have done it, but I didnt aware that I have did it till I ask my team to resend back the mails.
Getting old and getting too busy to collate everything in my mind which constantly thinking about other stuff which is outstanding.

Morning

Today when I was driving to work. I saw a dog lying dead while the other dog lying beside the dead dog with the despair look. I feel so sad when I look the living dog. They like a couple but in dog form.

Seem like love is link to all creatures.

Working hours too short

It is not easy to manage a team when it is required to change their mindset to sync with what I want. Not expect they will listen to me exactly. But I do hope they able to contribute and be more independent. Feel there is so many things they have yet to learn and I still need to teach them.

The time I spend for them is taken most of my time during my working hours, yet I need to work my task. I feel like I'm having limited time during the working hours.

Face like the Road

Need to do facial soon. My face is worse than road surface. Bloody haggard and I dont know what is wrong with my face.

Have to eat more healthier food.

Public Holiday in these month

This month is full of public holiday. Seem that life is great that we can work only 4 days, while rest of 3 days in a week. Yeah!! Smack my dreamy head, come back to the reality.


Work Hard to Gain What You Want and Dream for Yourself. Ganbatte, you can do it! :)

Drama Series in Office

I'm glad I'm off the hook, yet other team members are suffering.
Seem now others know how much I have suffered and withstand on certain people attics. For years, I have a high level of patient and others start to take advantage of it. Enduring all the ugly stuff and swallowing bitterness, and now it is seeping into my body so much till I detest and going to ward off as I have enough of giving in.

Now, I changed. I will not give a damn if I feel it is not I should be doing it. I will not comply and make others' happy anymore. It is ME time, no more YOUR TIME.

If you not happy or any problem over it, BUZZ OFF as I just want to have a happy and joyful on how I think it should be. 

:P

How come I need to explain to others in detail what I done and did? Even the person already know and attempt to test my "HONESTY" by asking me, as to compare the person's notes and how much I willing to say.

I do not careless about my interinary of what I have done and where I have gone each day. Why should I care so much on this, yet others give a big damn over it. Give people some space as long as the person is NOT doing any crime and harmful to others.

It is not a lie but I careless over it. Dont make a big deal over small issue on where I have gone and make a big fuss over I didnt tell every inch of detail I done for the day. I'm not so free.

work and mumbles

Brain is under low performance. I need a break. Really need a break. I'm working in a inconsistent speed, a bit dissapointed.

Just hoping not to find argument over petty issue as there are so many importants need to be done. Why dwell over issue not within our control?

to whom it concern

HI LIM KOR KOR!!!

DO YOUR WORK LA!!

Gossip in the new way

Seem like the office always very quiet. The only thing you can hear is the computer keyboards tapping sounds.

But the colleagues are still chatting and gossipping with everyone in the office thro skype. It is deceiving as I drop by each team members' desktop and looking at their monitors...not only chatting with 1 but multiple. Now, the communication is faster than previous but no face-to-face interaction is not as fun as chatting virtually.

I do time to time prefer the old method way to communicating as it is more slower pace and healthier. But in workwise, definitely technology still the best

National Day @ 2010

Slept till noon. Woke up as it is too hot to sleep. Eat lunch and bought some groceries in Carrefour. It is already 6pm. Time do pass too fast today.

But enough time to clean the place and cook a simple dinner.

Now it is past midnight. Feel another day coming up. Boss coming in for 2 days, yet I have a lot work outstanding. People wants so many things, and my brain cannot remember all the list of outstanding. Jeeesshhh... I'm getting old and keep forgetting a lot of stuff lately.

back at kl

Stayed in my hometown for 3 days. Non stop eating in every 2 hours and feeling bored all the time. By saturday evening I was bored to death. I was screaming from my brain by 8pm on saturday, I constantly whining how BORED I AM but My parents non stop watching Korea drama series from day to night. It was unbelieveable as I never expect my mom will turn to drama addict now. I do think she should focus on her hobby rather focus on watching tv all day long. Yet, she claim she is busy with housework.hmmmmm, this is so wrong.

Due to boredom and nothing to do at my hometown, I slept at 10pm. This is a record for me as I never sleep for early unless I am SICK!! Man, I am more as city person rather than town person. I'm glad to be in KL city now.!!

My dad is getting better as he is walking slowly but he is getting old. I do think his leg will remain fragile as he aged. On 2007, he was healthy and fit. Just 1 fall from the ladder, his health plummet down and he start to get heart attacks several times within 1 year. It is miracle that he can still walk and eat by himself. I just hope he will one day able to talk well again as he still slur in his speech after the heart attacks. This time of my visit, he is not agitated and feeling calmer. He don't get piss off and threathen ppl out of frustration and. anger.

Came back at 2.30pm on sunday

on Leave

Yeah!! I'm on leave tomorrow and going back to hometown. It have so long since CNY, that I went back home. I feel like my childhood home is getting smaller and smaller each time I goes back home. I wondering it is due to expansion on my waist line. :P

I feel quite tired and not spending much time with my parents. I'm wondering what can cook for them during the 3 days. I told A that I wish to cook this and that for my parents, he just laugh as he feel I talk a lot of wanting to cook this and that all the time but in the end...my lazy ass won't move an inch and laze around like a pig. Which I will deny that I'm quite lazy bum 90% of the time.

weekly pass time

Lately was super busy with workload as need to QC data, interact with colleagues in KL and overseas offices, facilitate on new requests from left and right, interviewing candidates, help on team members performance and having meetings with boss, other teams and own team.

It is surely hectic and plenty of outstanding tasks still remain untouch. After written this down, I realised that I have been work quite a lot but it seem quite not enough.

It is now 1.30 am yet I still not tired in this humid condition. Surely is hard to sleep with such weather. Even I have air-con, but I do not intend to use it as I might constantly use as time passes by. I rather get use the humidity now.

Some ppl really can sleep so easily, I wonder they can do that.

greener pasture

It is time to move to new office from 14/F to 11/F. So many people do not wish to move, therefore my team need to sacrifice and move down. All the team are protect and defended by their own leade, yet my team is isolated.

My MD asked to choose who I pick to be under and decide move on the greener path as I feel so tired in arguing with R all the time. It has been 10 years where I have worked with him, yet he dont provide any postive results for the team.
R always take care of his own interest and always ignore his team growth. That's why the team remain the same since the day 1. I feel frustrated as each time I try to do some postive changes. He constantly halt my growth as he fear his own career in danger.

Old Generation

In recent years, found younger generation mindset are different from the older generation. Based on the dream job they wish to have is different.

During my parents time, they just glad if they have job to provide food on the table to their family members daily. My parents time, they have hardship since birth till they have us.

My mom childhood time:
1) Rear chickens at below of her rent kampung house to get eggs and sell chickens so that she have money to feed her siblings
2) Iron other peoples to pay her school fees, and interesting part is last time no electric iron, only charcoal iron where it is not easy with such heavy old antic iron. The money goes to pay her and her siblings school fees.
3) Wake up in the early morning before everyone wake up to boil water and cook 3 meals a day for her 9 family members. As my grandpa need to find a job daily and it is not easily to find a decent job. Getting any job is a blessing.

My dad childhood time:
1) My grandma passed away when my dad was only 6 years old - during WWII where my grandma try to escape from the japs
2) Motherless and no love from his step mom, he always need to search for his daily food from the jungles. whatever he able to find and edible at very young age. Sometimes, he will follow the father/pasters from the churches to get food.
3) No money to buy clothes and shoes for himself as his dad is always aways from home and his stepmom disallow him to eat anything from home and no money provided to him. He has no money to buy a decent shoes/slipper. Once, she hit my dad with a piece of wood with a nail till his eyes bleed and his eye sight has been bad since then
4) Always go hunger as when he unable to convince the food stall owner that he will pay in monthly basis time to time when he get his salary.

My parents never complain about their hardship, yet they work so hard to provide us whatever we needs/wants so that we will not go through what they have gone through. I have to admit that sometime I never appreciate what they have done for me as human always never thought of others' hardship till they face it themselves.

As people grow older, you will need to sit down and think on what others and your parents have done for you. Try to appreciate them by treating them back nice and care. I dont think they want money in return based on what they have given us. They will be proud of us if we able to take care of ourselve well and love them back in return on what they have done for us.

I'm not good daughter as I should be. Do hope I will change to be a better person so that I able to give back what my parents has done for me and thanking them in proper by giving them my attention onto them. When parents are old, they dont demand much as they just want their children to love them as much they love their children.  What is the use of arguing and fighting all the time with your parents all the time as life too short. How long your parent will be there for you? A question should be pop time to time to remind oneself how precious time is. Time flies very fast! act, dont whine.

Decision on who to pick in the company

It is monday again. After my MD asked me to make the decision on who I shall pick. Well, I know who I will pick already. I just pray I will able to work with him better than my old boss who try to attack me for 10 years.

Praying all the time, Please do pray for me too. AMEN!!

Feeling

My emotion in relationship and work, I'm totally drain out. I do wish someone who sincerely with a good heart tell me what I should do in my life. I am so so tired, I wish to crawl under the earth and never wake up as life is too upsetting for my view.

Love is pain, Pain is knowledge, knowledge is enternal

Exhausted

While thinking about my personal life and work life. I'm a failure. I have not achieve anything in my life yet. What is the purpose of my life? Answer: I have no clue as I feel everything is so meaningless even though I know people do care for me but I feel so numb inside till I cannot feel anything, only sense of failure and disappointment.

Last week, I didn't sleep for 2 night as I feel so depress and I cannot change anything except accept my fate of failure. Why do I have such feeling all the time? I don't know. I have no friend to talk anymore and people to make me laugh as my bf tried to cheer me up which I so glad he tried his best but he don't understand me as much my close fren.

I never realise post symptom will impact me so huge as tears rolling down each time I think of my disappointed life.

All I wish is to have a good relationship with my bf and close fren. I don't think my wish will never accomplish in this lifetime

Life

How you know what is good for you?
Who actually is your true friend?
Who actually you can rely on when you need advice?

What path/ decision to make when you are in dilemma/confuse?
What life you think is the best to head to
What is your life going to be in 10 - 20 years time?
How/ who is your life partner going to be?
How to forsee what is going to come?
How to spend time efficiently on work and personal life
How not to hurt people you love while you just want everyone to happy including yourself?
How your life going to be when you are retired?
Who will be the person going to be there when you are old, defendless and weak?
Who is your soulmate?

These questions in my head everyday eventhough I'm busy working, at home or sitting infront of the TV. My mind keep popping these questions in my head repeatly. It does feel very tired. I wish to turn back the clock and have my best friend at my side but we cannot turn back the time. We just need to move on even though it is very lonely path I'm walking right now. Nevertheless, I do hope my best friend is happy and having a wonderful life out there. Missing him as he has good heart but not missing the fights moment with him for years.  I cannot be selfish right now as I have make the decision of not becoming selfish on my relationship eventhough I have hurt everyone along the way, including myself and my dearest friend. He does not know how much I really love him if compared to the others in my life, yet I letting him go as it is too hurt to try further.

Meetings

Compiling information on the advantanges and drawback of the existing product. Being ask what to improve, yet ask not to rush things. I feel like the contributions of feedback from the team will provided to other "TEAM" on how to improve their own product, based on how my boss says.

I feel a bit dissapointed as I feel bias as boss going to show it to other seniors to judge what can be done. Is my time will be paid off, or wasted as ppl going to steal them to have the light onto themselves.

I'm feel sceptical, and I have the right to feel that way after years and YEARs of lame excuses given infront of my face. feel damn idiot, but I wont want to feel that anymore.

Work my brain off - what to do! what to do!

Here in office, thinking for days...what I can do for the team. Suddenly I realised I have spent my previous years on relationship which won't work in the end.

I should have balance in my career and personal life much better. I do hope there is still time.

Long talk with bestie

Had lunch with TC at Saturday noon (24 April 2010) before she goes back home, but I got unwell on the day before while working. But I'm glad to had lunch with her. Even she didnt mince her words, it those hurt but honestly I need it.

I have waited for so long since I worked for the company, waited for my seniors to protect the staff and make the product growth, but i waited and waited, and nothing happen.

I'm done waiting for others, now I need to move on and make decision on my own as unable to rely others if you want to achieve something.

Facing the risk rather doing nothing.

What annoying gals are based on other gals view

Watching Guess Guess Guess (Taiwan), they was talking about what gals despise of other gals characteristic

1) Being two-face gf
I have met many, and one of the person also done the point 2.
The person keep quiet about her stuff, while wish to now about my personal stuff
Other person always critize my dressing whenever she wants to

2) Attempt to snatch other's bf
Refer to the point 2

3) Being stingy/calculative
hmmm...it is a colleague of mine, regret of not knowing her personality before a trip, but she can spend lot on herself

4) Pretending to be fragile infront of men
met too, who pretend to be womanly infront of good looking guys. want to puke. of coz she is not pretty at all...hahahahaha!!

5) Being materialistic
I'm lucky for not any of my gf such personality, as my rich gfs are humble and honest. :) pheww!!

Hot and cold temp

My office is damn cold but I won't complain as the weather outside way way too humid. It is unbearable. Currently other countries still enjoying the cooling weather on this month of period, but we have to endure the blazing sun each time we step out from our home or workplace. Damn hot!! When it will be cooling again?!

Cousin in KL @ July 2009

We were at in KLCC bridge briefing before we could go up to the bridge, need to put biggie sunglasses but need to wear my normal spec over with the biggie and useless sunglasses if not I unable to see what the briefing. But the 3D presentation was not good at all and look very low quality display..sigh!!

Then we went up, with the limited time given for each group goes up. Just a bridge, nothing much to shout about. just that i lined up for 2 hours straight, it is the first time ever i queue such a long period. jjeeeesssshhh..

How come get FAT wan ar?

I move to my first home at Sept 2008, I normally eat outside food daily for my lunch and dinner before I go home for the day since I move to KL since 1995. My body weight never variance that much till I had my own place.

After I stayed here, I started to cook. My cooking skill was so bad at first but it is getting to improve for 2 yrs now. Start to eat healthy, but I am gaining so much weight and my clothes are getting too tight for me. I cannot even breath with my daily working clothes. Damn shit! Need to buy new clothes, the worst part...i normally wear XS or S, but now...it is size M!!!